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The Learning Process Of Pickup

Hey guys,

Today I'm going to be addressing something near and dear to my heart. The learning process of pick up.

There are a lot of people giving out a lot of bad advice on how to learn this stuff, so I want to make sure that I get my thoughts and experiences out to you guys to help shorten your learning curves.

First let's talk about the idea of a learning curve. A learning curve is the specific personal path that you will need to take to get to your goals. Everyone's learning curves will be different. For example a guy who's 6'4, extremely good looking and works as a movie producer, will have a significantly shorter learning curve
than a guy who's 5'4 300lbs and unemployed. But both of these guys can eventually get all the success they desire by following the same basic rules for learning.

The first rule of learning pick-up, is that ALL real learning happens in the field. You can theorize until you're blue in the face, but until you learn how to actually apply the theory in real life, you haven't actually learned anything. That's why you want to follow the 4:1 ratio of field time to reading. That means that for every hour you read, you need to spend four hours actually approaching. It doesn't count to just go out.

The second rule of learning pick up is learning to only take in high quality information. There's a lot of keyboard jockeys out there. Guys who sit around and can spout theory like an encyclopedia of game, but can't remember the last time they got laid. You have to be super careful about who you listen to, especially on message boards. It's a good idea to research who you are learning from. Make sure that they have a track record not only of success for themselves but for their students as well.

Stay away from reading sales letters and marketing hype about what a product will do for you, and instead look at the reviews of that product on public forums like These:

The Attraction Forums (http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/index.php)
The Pick Up Artist Forums (http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/)

I post daily on both sites as well as many other talented dating coaches such as AFC Adam, Gambler, Savoy, Brad P and more.

The next rule of learning is the rule of small chunks. When you first find this stuff, it can be overwhelming as there are literally hundreds of thousands of pages on pick up theory ranging from dealing with self esteem issues to sexual techniques. With so much out there, it can be tempting to want to read up on all of it at once. The thinking being that if you can learn everything you'll be equipped for every situation and have perfect game!

Unfortunately life doesn't work like that. Despite the awesome power of the human brain we can only process and digest a small amount of information at a time. This number reduces even further
when the information that we are taking in is counter intuitive to our already existing belief structures. That's where the idea of small chunking comes in to play. You have to be able to break all the information down into small bite sized chunks that you can implement. So how do we do that? I'm glad you asked, we do this by focusing on learning one skill at a time and practicing that one skill until we have it mastered, before moving on.

In the beginning this can be something as simple as making and holding eye contact. Instead of reading up on how to make "seductive" or "hypnotic" eye contact, you read some basic bullet points and head out. Then you practice making and holding eye contact with people until the field tells you you're doing it correctly. Girls will give you the best pick up advice, as long as you watch what they react to, instead of what they say. Once you've got that down, you move on to the next small thing. Remember learning pick up is like eating an elephant you can only eat one bite at a time.

The fourth rule of learning pick up is learning to be completely honest with yourself. I often say on bootcamps that one of the biggest difference between the guys who get good and the guys who don't is honesty. You have to be able to look at yourself and realize that some parts of your personality are not helpful and need to change, if you want more success with women. Some guys decide that they don't care enough to change and that's ok too. Just don't come on one of my bootcamps.

The fifth and final rule of learning pick up is learning to focus only on that which is within your control. In psychology they talk a lot about internal vs external loci of control. The idea behind the fancy terms being that there are some things you can control and others you cannot.In pick up almost everything is a variable. In fact the only things you can control are yourself and your reactions to situations. So you are constantly faced with choices. You can either approach the girl or stand by the bar. One of these actions brings you closer to your goal the other doesn't. But it is a choice. You have to stop worrying about whether or not the girls will like you, if there's going to be a guy in the group, etc... Because you can't control it. In fact the more you resist things that are out of control, the more discomfort you create for yourself and the further out of state and into your head you go. Learn to ask yourself " What do I have control of in this situation" and " What do I want the outcome to be here?" Those two questions should bring you back to right action.

Simply following these five rules will put you leaps and bounds ahead of most guys who are learning this stuff. I'm currently putting together a completely free report on why 90% of guys in the community don't improve, so be on the look out for that next month sometime.


Last week in Sinn's Of Attraction.

I gave my official take on rating women:
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-official-take-on-rating-girls.html

Talked about social pressure and how it affects us:
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/09/social-pressure-lock-up.html

And helped spread the word about an injustice:
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/08/charles-lynch.html


In other Sinn related news I will be on Mehow's Infield Insider very soon. We recorded two weekends ago in NYC and got some great footage so be on the look out for that in the next month or so.

I've also got a BIG surprise at the end of this week, so keep watching your mailboxes.

Till next time,

S


 

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