Newsletters Archive
Guide To Indirect
Opening Part 2
Hey guys,
Last week I talked to you guys about how to open indirectly, now I want to
talk about what to do after an indirect opener.
The first thing to focus on when you're using an indirect opener (especially
an opinion opener) is changing the subject of the conversation. You can call
this transitioning, you can call it cutting the conversational thread,
etc... Whatever you call it, you don't want to linger on your opener. Unlike
a direct opener, which basically ends with an introduction, indirect openers
can be drawn out forever. A common mistake that new guys make is having a 20
minute conversation about whether men or women lie more or a fictional
jealous girlfriend. Remember the point of an opener is simply to start a
conversation.
So how does one change the topic of conversation in a smooth socially
acceptable way? There are a myriad of ways to do this, but today I want to
share with you my five favorites.
1. " You know whats". A "you know what?" is simply a statement where
you share things about yourself. The most common "you know whats" I use are
" you know what I love?", "You know what I hate?", "You know what's
awesome?", and, "you know what sucks." Then you share personality-conveying
information about yourself. This is where it's a major advantage to have a
variety of interests OUTSIDE of picking up girls and your job. But you can
also use these to talk about anything. Here's a " You know what I love" I
use frequently in bars and clubs.
" You know what I love? Vodka! Especially vodka and Diet Coke. It's the
official drink of The Summer of Ripped Abs(Credit Jlaix for the hilarious
title). It's ok. If you feel the abs you'll see it's well worth the
taste(smile and pull the girls hand onto my abs).
2. Role plays. Role plays happen when you create a fun fantasy
scenario involving yourself and the girls. These are a great way to get off
the opener and differentiate yourself from other guys. Role plays also
fulfill a woman's need for emotional stimulation, while taking her mind off
the fact that she's talking to a guy, she just met. Here's one of my
favorite role plays
" You know what since you guys are so friendly, I'm going to make you guys
my personal everyday cheerleaders! You're jobs will be to applaud me and
keep my self esteem sky high while I go about my daily business.
You'll(point to one of them) get to cheer me on as I do my laundry, You can
even do high kicks when I put in the fabric softener. You get to be my
personal drinking cheerleader, you'll be like " You're still sober, you can
do it, 3 more shots!" And you will be my slacking off cheerleader, you'll be
like of course you can shirk your responsibility and go to a movie in the
middle of the day! You can do it!"
3. Making an observation. Becoming a more observant person, is one of
the best things you can do for your game overall. Getting used to
verbalizing your observations as they come to you, will go a long way
towards helping you build a solid conversational repertoire. The
observations you make can be canned like Style's " Best Friends Test" or
they can be real and made up on the fly. The things you should be observant
of are body language(especially facial expressions), fashion, energy, other
people in the venue, the venue itself, etc... Here's one of my favorite
observations
" You can tell a lot about people by the way they stand together. Like you
guys are standing in a sort of semi-circle around her. I bet you're used to
being the center of attention. Which is gonna be a problem cause I'm a huge
spotlight stealer."
4. Mini cold reads. Mini cold reads are small, funny truisms about
women that you can throw out quickly after you open. Here's some classic
examples of mini cold reads from RSD's Tyler Durden
-"you're bad"
-"oooohhhh noooo.. you guys are *trouble*"
-"you guys are the nice ones.. I can only hang with you.."
"yeah.. you're more quiet.. like Velma from Scoobie Doo.. you're smart,..
and
you *solve mysteries*"
-"I don't know about you.. I have a x-feeling about you.."
-"there's something suspicious going on here... I'm not sure what, but I can
just feel it"
-"you guys are *fiesty*.. like little powerpuff girls"
-"you are *crazzzzzy*"
-"I can't trust you guys"
-"ok, I can trust you now.. you guys are *IN*.. you're trustworthy"
-"you're my new bestfriend"
-"that-is-*awesome*.. you're gonna be my NEW GIRLFRIEND" (after something
ARBITRARY, like a line in her palm, or showing you a cool tatoo or something
equally stupid, but is somehow DERIVED from something she showed you...)
-"you guys are like crime-fighters"
-"you guys are total bad-girls"
-"you're the leader"
-"you guys are A-Crowd material" (after she says something cocky to you)
-"dude, these girls are obviously VERY adventurous"
5. Social Questions and lead ins. Social questions are questions
which allow the woman or women you're talking to get comfortable with
meeting a stranger. In addition to letting people get comfortable, you can
also use social questions to lead in to stories from your life. Here's an
example.
" What's on the agenda for later for you guys?"
The girls answer...
Yeah we're probably going to head to X bar later, I'm out tonight because I
had a ( good, awful, awesome, silly fun, etc..) day. What happened was...
Ok guys so that completes the email series on opening both directly and
indirectly and following up both kinds of openers.
Over the next few weeks I'll be sending you guys some articles on my brand
new attraction system called Swagger.
Til next time,
S
This week in Sinn's Of
Attraction.
1. My review of Episode 6 of the Pick up artist:
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/11/episode-6-two-creepy-guys-for-price-of.html
2. A link to a site full of great
articles on basic social skills and how weird the community is :
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-love-this-guy.html
3. And my contest for the
funniest caption of a hilarious picture of Matador and Cajun. Be sure to
check out the comments on that one:
http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2008/11/contest-create-caption.html
