Newsletters Archive

Learn From My Mistakes

Hey guys,

Welcome to the first Sinns Of Attraction newsletter of 2009!

2009 is going to be a huge year for me, and Sinns Of Attraction as a company. I've got some really cool new theoretical things I'm working on including stuff on Same Night Threesomes, In Venue Lays, and new advice for Extremely Attractive Women. Plus I'll be running 12 Months to Mastery, and putting out products on Same Night Lays, Breakthrough Comfort and Day Game.

But today I want to take a look back into 2008 with part one of a breakdown of a real life date I went on and how I messed it up! Yes, even I still make mistakes with women that we can all learn from. To me, the mark of progress in game and life is the trying not to make the same mistakes tomorrow you made today.

Let's get to the breakdown:

Right now, we're going to cover part 1 from messing up the pull to the First date. It starts Friday night when I head out to one of my favorite dive bars with a friend. I decide I'm not really into gaming on this particular night so I post up at the bar. Unfortunately a very cute short girl with large boobs, and a Newsie hat sits down next to my friend. My friend asks her to watch his seat and somehow we end up flirting. I end up getting her to drive me home when the first mistake happens.

Mistake # 1: Mismanaging logistics.

Instead of having the girl drive to the parking lot of my apartment building like usual, I had her take the wrong turn. At which point she was outside of my building on the side, with cars behind her and a nowhere to park or pull over. So because of that I was not able to talk her into coming upstairs. This mistake is the one I should be the most embarrassed about. This is a textbook mistake. You always want to get the girl parked at your place in the smoothest way possible.

What I should have done:

I should have given her the right directions and then told her to park. After that I could have told her to come up and have some water or use the bathroom before she has to drive home.

Mistake # 2: Not giving her plausible deniability.

I also got a little arrogant here as I was trying to get her to come up to my apartment "to makeout like teenagers"(credit Lovedrop). Now lately that's been working for me very consistently, but it's a bad idea in general. Instead I need to oversell an episode of TV or Absinthe, or whatever. This can also be a tricky area as you get better at same night lays, the reason being that you don't want the pretext to be too interesting lest she get distracted from what's really happening. There is a difference between sexualized pulls and social pulls. You want the pretext to be a somewhat flimsy excuse that she could tell her friends to explain why she left with you.

What I should have done:

I should have seeded the pull much earlier. I had done the logistics gathering early on. I knew she was at the bar meeting her male friends from high school. She drove herself and she didn't have anything to do the next morning. But I didn't tell her what we would be doing if we went back to my place. I should have seeded the pull earlier on by telling a story involving whatever we were going to do. I was introducing the pull earlier this year by talking about "It's always Sunny In Philadelphia." Then all I have to do is oversell a specific episode. Mention that she can only stay for 1 episode, and tell her she's not getting laid... Unless she asks

So we made out and I texted her the following at 3 AM:

Sinn: You home yet Bratface?

She didn't respond until around noon the next day. She'll be Miss Newsie Hat.

Miss Newsie Hat: hahaha!

Here's our texts leading up to the first call:

S: That's a delayed laugh ;)

MNH: Yes

S: And a very detailed text message. Is someone a little hung over?

Here I'm pacing and teasing her for giving me one word answers so far. It's not rude just pointing it out in a funny way.

MNH: Haha. Not really. You?

S: Naw I don't get hangovers luckily for me : ) I ate Lean Cuisine tho and regret that.

MNH: Lean cuisine?? That's not really late night food!!! And, no hangovers?

S: I know, I'm a riddle wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in an enigma. Just don't propose :p

This is a disqualifier, as well as some callback humor. I have been proposed to by 3 different girls. I told her the stories of how this happened when we met Friday night. I like any type of disqualifer that assumes a relationship or her chasing you.

MNH: I'll try to restrain myself!

S: I can restrain you... Actually you'd like that too much and it would probably make you more likely to propose. Curses!

Here she uses a slight sexual word, and I jump on it. But I release it in the end of the message. This is a HUGE escalation from the previous text. I like to try to go sexual as early as possible to start inoculating against last minute resistance. However you always have to release the tension before she gets creeped out.

MNH: Wow.

See here she's a little weirded out by the escalation.

S: Wow is better with the finger puppets. You doing family stuff now or reading more twilight?

I see she's weirded out, give a cryptic non-sequitur comment, and then ask a social question. I want to get the attention of the interaction off the sexual stuff before she starts raising objections.

MNH: What? At lunch with the fam.

S: I'll show you the finger puppets for wow and if you're lucky I'll even teach you the loser song.

Now I've recovered I changed the focus and she goes with it. Now we're talking about the confusing comment. I bait her with another weird sounding thing I'll teach her.

MNH: Haha

S: Unfortunately, you'll have to wait til next time to learn :( Gotta go do writer stuff for awhile . Call ya later...

And then I end the interaction. It's super important to get off the phone or text conversation first. So I end it but I take the opportunity to build emotional momentum and go up the intimacy scale to the phone. It's much easier to get a girl to come meet you on the phone than it is through text messages. Now she's prepared for me calling and I can get her to meet up.

After that I call her a few hours later and get her voicemail. I leave a quick message telling her to try to catch me, if not I'll try her later.

She texts me back:

MNH: Did you call me?

S: Yeah I got sick of people who actually like me, so I wanted someone to keep my head from getting too big :)

This is part of what I call hate game, where instead of talking about how much you guys like each other you use hate instead...

MNH: Ha. Well I'm glad you thought of me!! My phone is jacked up, I can't
check my phone log or voicemail.

S: Wow can you throw it at people? That's a phones real use ;)

Just a funny non-sequitur. Humor can be random...

MNH: I can't function without my phone! I've had several problems with this phone!

We're having a boring conversation about phones, so I change it with a teasing qualifer. Whenever you're in doubt about what to do, try to qualify. Teasing qualification is the lowest form, but has the most uses.

S: Do you have funky texting thumbs?

MNH: Getting there.

A few minutes later she texts me this:

Call me when you get a chance.

I called her talked for a few minutes and set up a date for drinks the next night.

Unfortunately it would not be that easy...

Stay tuned next time to see how I deal with an almost flake and the mistakes I made on the date.

Talk to ya guys soon... Real soon,



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